Something about governors brings out irreverence in me. I'm sorry. As Governor Bill Clinton of Arkansas droned on and on at the Democratic Convention, I reflected on this lifetime personal problem:
Governor George Washington Paul Hunt of Arizona visited the ?Papago Indian Reservation when I was about nine. My mother, secretary to the Superintendant of the ?Papago Agency, invited him to lunch.
He was an enormous walrus of a man, bald, and with a bristly, handle-bar mustache, waxed only at the wavy tips. His bulk, his crude manners and his strange head would have inspired Valley Girl to say "Grody to the max"! (GROSS TO THE MAXIMUM)
As he was leaving and paying my mother some effusive and insincere thanks, I piped up with, "Governor Hunt, how do you manage chicken noodle soup?"
She rushed me off and into a closet, but as soon as he was gone, she came and got me and we laughed until our sides ached!
One of the passengers on the S.S.Victoria when I went to Alaska the first time was former Governor Sulzer of New York. I never got to the bottom of his case, but although not impeached, he had to resign under fire. Sulzer had "served time" for some kind of dishonest behavior. On the voyage he made no bones about this, was quite a ladies' man and considered himself to be somewhat of a sport. Distastefully colorful, if you know what I mean.
On the way back to Seattle, we went out onto open sea, and the voyage was rough. I got into a poker game with Governor Sulzer and four other men. I believe I was the only greenhorn at the table. At any rate, I stayed with them. They were amazed, then annoyed, and finally alarmed. On the final hand the stakes got pretty high, but I beat Sulzer. He had three queens, but I turned over a full house, sixes and nines!
My date for the 1937 Rose Bowl game, California versus Alabama, was a gorgeous blonde named Bernadine ?i?er. We had seats in the fifth row of the official reviewing stand for the Tournament of Roses Parade, too. Immediately in front of us sat Governor Frank Merriam of California. He was bald, and the sunshine of that glorious New Year Day glistened off his pate. The temptaion was just too great!
I whispered to Bernadine, "I'm going to accidentally brush over the top of his head with my coat sleeve!"
It gave me a chance to apologize, to impress my date, and to say to this very day, "I've been in contact with the Governor!"
Now if Bill Clinton of Arkansas, or George Deukmejian of Calfornia, or Rose Mofford of Arizona were to stop by to see me, I'd be very cordial. I'd offer some refreshment--probably a "pine float"--a toothpick in a glass of water!
There's something about governors!