SPAM mark IV has never been built, and will never be built, and at this point in time, we can't even build it. These ideas are so farfetched, outlandish, and difficult, that for this class it's not even worth considering them, so of course we are doing exactly that.
Audio Compression
Actual Phone Line Connection
Speaking SPAM
Video SPAM
Spams in Space
Not Coming Soon
To record a message for a minute, it would take 480K. This is a bit much to waste on an answering machine. One way to help with this problem would be to do Fourier analysis on the input signal, reducing it's storage requirements. This stuff really exists.
SPAM on the net? SPAM in New York? We could have SPAM reach anywhere if only it could plug in to the wall. Common lore among telephone operators says that Ma Bell, when not switching phones, was a secret Spam addict. Wouldn't she love to see SPAM connected to her system? To implement this, we'd need whole new sets of analog considerations. We'd need some sort of variable pickup delay, so SPAM would wait a few rings before answering. And of course, we would require remote operation, so jet-setting executives could hear their messages from afar. And so they never forget to check, SPAM will call them, at a user settable phone number, at a user settable time.
Wouldn't it be great if SPAM did something other than beep? It could say "Y'all got yerself three messages", in a thick Texas accent. Or, "Thhhat wasss yourrr lassssssst messssage, with sinister overtones. All that's necessary for the new, vibrant addition to SPAM is an EPROM with the data stored in it, and possibly a controller signal or two. The problem then becomes, how to get an EPROM with audio data on it. The simplest solution is probably to use an Apple IIGS digitizer (readily available), convert the data to four bits, take it downstairs to the Apple II's burner, and stick it on a rom.
The less cheesy solution would be to set SPAM up to burn EPROM's on it's own. It would need a 25V supply, and some very sophisticated control hardware to do this though.
Nobody's going to want to leave a two second audio message in 2000. It's passe, it's been done. Better that you leave a quarter second video message!! Design of this could be farmed to a VLSI chip designer so we don't have to think about it.
To get a SPAM to work in space you would need a really long extension cord. You have to shield the LED's to keep them from exploding in vacuum. You might want to equip your SPAM with a laser defense system to fight off Klingon Ambushers. But remember, in space, no one can hear you BEEP.
Next: Conclusion