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"It was Saturday, October 4, 1997... I was going to Santa Fe for the weekend to see my friends Rob Pfile and Suruchi Bhatia get married."
| Part 1 | A bleak dawn... Procuring candy... Onto the plane... Procuring breakfast... |
| Part 2 | Three degrees of Dave Otsuka, squared... Scenic Denver (airport)... Grumpiness-assisted elitism... Scenic Santa Fe (airport)... |
| Part 3 | Haughty dismissal of Santa Fe proper... Sub-optimal navigation techniques... Man with no pants... Navigation by casino... |
| Part 4 | Some actual tourism... |
| Part 5 | Sugar-coded steganography... Risking life and limb for student housing... The Torpor out of Space... |
| Part 6 | Relations with the fairer sex... Hundreds of hot-air balloons... Bandy cadness... |
| Part 7 | Computer science professor gossip... Matrimonial bondage... What the cool people talked about... |
| Part 8 | Issei in San Diego... The current movie scene... Pork: the Other Tamale Filling... Gross things you can do with underwear... |
| Part 9 | Our animal pals... The journey home... |