Three years after the last time, a system upgrade went wrong. This time, I had a backup (thanks, @DropBox) and I hadn't forgotten the password to decrypt my backed-up seekrit files—much less traumatic. I'm even using this as an opportunity to try switching to Mint Linux from Ubuntu. Even if it turns out to be terrible and destroys everything and I have to restore from backup... I'll basically be in the same state I am now.

The best part is that I didn't back up the script I use to automate backups, so I had an excuse to rewrite that.