MegaBrööce: Songbook: Answering Machine (Song for SPAM)

SPAM was a project for an Electronics class which Bryan and I spent a lot of time on. I had plenty of time to write lyrics while waiting for EPROMs to burn.

This song was performed a few times, though rarely all the way through. I would often skip stanzas which struck me as stupid.

You could leave out a lot of stanzas and still have plenty of song left over.

Answering Machine (Song for SPAM)

On the crest of Kilimanjaro
I can look around, see it all
On a mile high safari
So I can't return your call.

I'm not Around right Now
Sorry I can't be Seeeeen
If you want to talk with me
Leave a msg on my machine.

Starring in a Broadway Play
And getting the best of reviews
Gonna get a rack of Tonies
But I might get back to you.


Selling illicit Bill the Cat bags
All that I want I will soon own
Rakin' in the cash hand over foot
So leave a message at the tone.


Discovering a cure for cancer
It works on some rats and an ape
I'd love to hear what's up with you
When I have time to play the tape.


Switch music to that of Giant Steps by the Police:
Giant crepes are what you make
When you're wokking on the moon
I just hope those eggshells break,
And I'll get back to you soon.

Switch music back:

The N'Yorker published my story
The editor thought it was really deep
And now I'm The Talk of the Town
Leave name & Number at the beep


Hacking into the Pentagon's Computers
Gonna turn their missiles off
Maybe you don't believe me
Just leave a message if yawanna scoff


Moving into my own dream mansion
It's got a pool and a big TV
If you want to get invited over
Just leave a message and we shall see.


About to score the winning touchdown
The Superbowl is almost won
Then, I'm goin to Disneyland!
But I'll hear you when I am done


Singing a song #1 with a bullet
A hit worldwide and in the USA
But soon I'll sit down by this machine
Dust if off, and then press "play."


And after all this mess is done
And I try to get back to you,
Will you be there when I call,
or is your machine on too?


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