It is March and the lovely #EnigMarch people have challenged puzzle designers to write a puzzle inspired by today's word: "path".
Oh no! The USA clown President Trump keeps getting math wrong!
One year ago, I made made a puzzle about Trump's tariffs because he claimed they'd help the country but hurt us so much. But I didn't point out that their formula made no sense. Since then, he's promised to cut drug prices by over 100%, which would be a neat trick, except that's not how percentages work. Maybe he doesn't mean to lie when he says he's good at deal-making. Maybe he just can't reckon the math to know what's a bad deal?
Anyhow, here are some fill-in-the-blanks clues. In each case you're looking for a word that gets MATH wrong; specifically, gets one letter wrong. E.g., in the first clue below, you'd write in PATH, which gets the first letter wrong. Note down those wrong letters; when you're done, you find out who's qualified to join Trump's cabinet.
| Ⓟ P A T H | Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. says his ____ to heroin addiction started with crystal meth. |
| ◯ _ _ _ _ | Secretary of War Pete Hegseth is known as "The DUI Hire" for his abuse of alcohol, which can be made of ground grain called ____. |
| ◯ _ _ _ _ | Secretary of Energy Chris Wright, praising coal, said "[In places that adopt wind and solar power], prices on the grid went up and stability of the grid went down." but this turned out to be a ____. |
| ◯ _ _ _ _ | Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy was so quick to withdraw requirements that airlines compensate passengers for flight cancellations you might joke he was flying at ____ one. |
| ◯ _ _ _ _ | Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick visited Epstein's island after figuring out he was a creep and then lied about it, bringing to mind Leviticus 5:1 "And if a soul sin, and hear the voice of swearing, and is a witness, whether he ___ seen or known of it; if he do not utter it, then he shall bear his iniquity." |
| ◯ _ _ _ _ | Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem lied under ____ to congress when she claimed that ICE hadn't detained children or American citizens. |
Some hints, rot13'd:
- Xraarql svefg yrggre; Urtfrgu guveq yrggre; Jevtug frpbaq yrggre; Qhssl guveq yrggre; Yhgavpx svefg yrggre; Abrz svefg yrggre.
- Gung byq-gvzrl ovoyr dhbgr vf zvffvat "ungu"
- Gur zvffvat yrggref ner p, u, b, c, f, naq l.
The solution, rot13'd:
c / cngu / Frpergnel bs Urnygu naq Uhzna freivprf Eboreg S. Xraarql We. fnlf uvf f / znfu / Frpergnel bs Jne Crgr Urtfrgu vf xabja nf gur "QHV Uver" sbe uvf nohf l / zlgu / Frpergnel bs Raretl Puevf Jevtug, cenvfvat pbny, fnvq p / znpu / Genafcbegngvba Frpergnel Frna Qhssl jnf fb dhvpx gb jvguqenj erdhverz u / ungu / Frpergnel bs Pbzzrepr Ubjneq Yhgavpx ivfvgrq Rcfgrva'f vfynaq nsgre s b / bngu / Ubzrynaq Frphevgl Frpergnel Xevfgv Abrz yvrq haqre ____ gb pbaterff j
