: New:

It is March and the lovely #EnigMarch people have challenged puzzle designers to write a puzzle inspired by today's word: "card".

Oh no! The USA clown President Trump said that rich foreigners can get expedited U.S. residency if they pay $1 million but they have to carry around a card with his face depicted on it: The Trump Gold Card. (The card also has a picture of The Statue of Liberty as in "Give me your tired, your poor multimillionaires…") He wants us to also offer the Trump Platinum card: for $5 million, get U.S. residency but pay no tax on non-U.S. income.

Now I wonder what other programs he'd like to make.

gl d   Foreign nationals who contribute $1 million can receive U.S. residency in weeks
pa t i n u m   $5 million gets you U.S. residency and pay no tax on non-U.S. income
_◯_ _ _ _ _   $14 million gets you your own chip fab plant
_ _ _ _ _◯_ _   $1 million extra if arriving on the Hindenberg (explodey)
◯_ _ _ _ _ _ _   $13 million gets you a selection of canned beers and sodas
_◯_ _   $26 million keeps your clothes wrinkle-free
_ _◯_ _ _   $28 million gets you a genuine U.S. coin
_◯_ _ _ _ _ _   $17 million includes use of a guaranteed-disinfected swimming pool
_ _◯_ _ _ _   $36 million surcharge for foreigners from explodey planets
screen shot of Trump Gold Card. Trump's face in yellow with fake stipple; also the Statue of Liberty and a bald eagle and it just keeps going

Hints, rot13'd:

Solution, rot13'd:

tByq / Sbervta angvbanyf jub pbagevohgr $1 zvyyvba pna erprvir H.F. erfvqrapl va jrrxf
cYngvahz / $5 zvyyvba trgf lbh H.F. erfvqrapl naq cnl ab gnk ba aba-H.F. vapbzr
fVyvpba / $14 zvyyvba trgf lbh lbhe bja puvc sno cynag
ulqebTra / $1 zvyyvba rkgen vs neevivat ba gur Uvaqraoret (rkcybqrl)
Nyhzvahz / $13 zvyyvba trgf lbh n fryrpgvba bs pnaarq orref naq fbqnf
vEba / $26 zvyyvba xrrcf lbhe pybgurf jevaxyr-serr
avPxry / $28 zvyyvba trgf lbh n trahvar H.F. pbva
pUybevar / $17 zvyyvba vapyhqrf hfr bs n thnenagrrq-qvfvasrpgrq fjvzzvat cbby
xeLcgba / $36 zvyyvba fhepunetr sbe sbervtaref sebz rkcybqrl cynargf

Tags: puzzle scene enigmarch

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